Struggling to know what choice to make? Here's one place to start
The most direct step towards what we most want often doesn’t feel like a step towards what we most want.
In fact, it not-infrequently feels like a step in the opposite direction.
Here’s some examples of this, that I’ve seen with my 1:1 life coaching clients recently:
Want a new job?
You might think that the most direct next step would be to… Make lists! Have coffee chats over Zoom! Submit resumés! Go to interviews!
But your unhappiness at your current job might mean that you are exhausted and your nervous system is agitated.
Rather than exhausting yourself further by taking actions that are reactive, half-assed, or ultimately not right for you…rest might be the most direct next step. After you’ve rested, you’re going to do a much more effective job of identifying and pursuing your next professional step.
Your most direct next step might be to rest.
Want more money?
Often, we feel that when we want more money, we need to reduce our spending. This was how I thought about money, for a very long time — and has its merits, of course.
And yet, spending money on a coach might help you, say, increase your yearly earnings by 20%. Or 50%! Or triple your income when you sell that screenplay / book that role two years from now. You might earn back several times what you spent on your coach — far more than you could have saved by not hiring her.
Your most direct step might be to spend money.
Want to feel happy?
You might have felt sadness (or anxiety, or anger) bubbling up in you for some time. And those feelings? They feel terrible. You’d much rather feel happy, or positive.
And yet: those feelings might have something to teach you — or you might just need to fully process them in your body + your mind — so that you can move on to greater happiness.
Your most direct next step might be to feel more sad.
Want to feel calm?
You might have to sit in a bit of agitation that comes up when you try to lower your stimulation levels (which you will very likely have to do, in order to feel calmer.)
Your most direct next step might be to feel slightly more agitated.
…
To be clear: I’m not saying that any of these specific actions are always the right answer. They’re simply examples that I’ve seen in my clients’ journeys recently.
The key is that most of our paths won’t be a direct, non-step flight between here and our dreams. The most “direct” path often actually feels quite circuitous as we’re walking it.
So perhaps you will remember, if it ever feels like your next right step is in the totally wrong direction:
What if it was actually the most direct step, in the long term?
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
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