Waiting for a break in the storm

Here’s something I often remind myself: 

There are seasons when every day is a good day for an expedition. The height of spring, for example. It’s sunny, it’s breezy, and a bit of a burn feels nice in the legs. Go get ‘em, tiger. 

And then there are other seasons. 

In those seasons, every day will be a difficult day for an expedition. 

Amidst the swirling rain, the howling wind, and the blankets of snow…it will take all you’ve got to put one step in front of another. And even with superhuman effort, you’ll move slowly, sometimes backwards, get lost a lot, use up all your energy in the first half-mile… and get very, very wet. 

(Did I mention that you’ll get very, very wet?)

…

In those seasons, you have two options: 

1. Wait for a break in the storm.  
   Wait for a time when it’s not so swirly, windy, or rain-y. Wait for a time when you can take a break, and take some clear steps.
   
   Of course, this may not be often. In certain climates, at certain times of year, there may be days, weeks, or months where…it is honestly a terrible time to undertake an expedition.
   
   

2. Go anyway.
   You can always go outside, even in the worst of seasons, and start the trek anyway. That’s fine, too. But it will be a frustrating trek — just like it would be frustrating to wait inside for a break in the storm.
   
   

Honestly, all the options are kind of frustrating, in certain seasons. 

I think I’ll say that one again, because I need it, too: all the options are kind of frustrating, in certain seasons.

…

I don’t say that to discourage you. I say that to remind you: 

Spring will come again. 

Expeditions will feel good again.

Just not in this particular season. 

…

As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this. 

Katie




p.s. I’ve noticed that this seems to be a moment for deeply considering one’s life — what do we want from our days? Are we moving in a direction that is truly right for us? If that’s true for you, coaching might be a useful source of support, inspiration, and direction. Here’s more information about working with me, if you'd like.

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One important reason why you might struggle to change

When we want to change, most of us start by thinking about what to change. But there’s actually another question that needs to be asked first:  

What’s my current capacity for change?

I’ll be frank. Many of us do not currently have the capacity for change.

I know that sounds harsh but stick with me. As James Flaherty defines it in Coaching To Excellence, “Being in condition to change means that clients have reserves of attention, physical and emotional energy, and social support.” (158)

These things can be hard to come by in our twenty-first-century lives.

As Flaherty puts it:

“Many of us feel pressed in our personal, business, relational, and financial domains. When not pressed by external circumstances, we usually feel compelled to maximize our activities so that at the end of the week or the end of the month, nothing is left. Then something goes amiss, or a potential new possibility fascinates us, and we consider working with a coach. Somehow we imagine that the coach knows something that will make this unworkable situation turn out just fine.” (158, emphasis mine)

The wry point he’s making here is that a coach doesn’t have some secret mystery to the universe. You can’t buy a black Mercedes G-class SUV* if you have no money. You can’t make changes if have no reserves of attention, physical and emotional energy, and social support.  

So you have to make space first. You’ll need some free time. You’ll need to take care of your emotional state and your physical body. You’ll need to get some support from people you care about if you don’t have it yet.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t work with a coach if you don’t currently have these things in place! Coaches can be extremely helpful in creating this space, and then supporting you in the process of changing after.

But even if you never work with a coach: If you’re trying to change and have been going in circles, it’s worthwhile asking yourself, What’s my current capacity to change?

* I have no idea why that car appeals to me, but it really does. Feel free to share your favorite fuel-inefficient, luxury car fantasies :)

As always, you’ve got this.

Katie