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Protein-rich goo
Some time ago, I was doing a walk + talk with Sarah Murphy-Kangas, and I asked her how she was doing.
She answered my question with a question: “Do you know how caterpillars actually become butterflies?”
I did not.
“Everyone knows that when caterpillars become butterflies, they go into a cocoon,” she told me. “But while they are in the cocoon, caterpillars completely liquify, becoming protein-rich goo — before reconstituting themselves into butterflies.”
And then she said:
“You asked me how I am. Right now, I am protein-rich goo.”
…
(I am obsessed with this idea of “protein-rich goo.”)
(Obsessed.)
…
Sarah, it turns out, knows her science. As Ferris Jabr with Scientific American puts it: “First, the caterpillar digests itself, releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues. If you were to cut open a cocoon or chrysalis at just the right time, caterpillar soup would ooze out”.
But even more importantly, Sarah pointed out such a profound part of the human experience. If we want to become something radically new — there may be a phase when we are molten and soupy, in the meantime.
Once Sarah shared that concept with me, I realized that many conversations with my clients are ultimately conversations about protein-rich goo.
So today, I thought I’d share a few things I often tell these wonderful clients of mine. Maybe they will help you, too.
Here they are:
On fighting the protein-rich goo phase.
You may have to be protein-rich goo, on the way to where you’re going. There may be no route to where you want to be, that doesn’t involve a protein-rich goo, at least for a bit. Putting it off is also putting off your butterfly phase.On what makes being protein-rich goo so hard.
It’s a phase when you don’t have legs, arms, or wings to help yourself– so it can feel overwhelming, and like there’s no way out. You will eventually have all of those things, but you will have to trust, for now, in your ability to grow them – cell-by-cell.It’s not forever.
It may feel like a long time while you are lost in the goo. But if you intend to find a way out, if you keep working to find a way out…you will reconstitute yourself.
…
And beyond these specific lessons, I just find the existence of this metaphor so soothing.
If you feel like you happen to be protein rich-goo right now – you are not alone. You have lots of other humans — and former caterpillars — for company.
As always, I’m rooting for you. Take care, everyone.
Katie
p.s. Have some big life projects you want to work on? Perhaps you'd like to work with me 1:1 - learn more here.
What to do when you’re not as happy as you “should” be
“I should be okay” — or some variation thereof — is something that I hear a lot.
I had time to relax all afternoon. I should be rested!
My partner is kind and a good person. I should be happy!
I make a decent living and don’t have to work too many hours. I should be grateful!
If we dig down deeply enough, though, the subtext of “I should be okay” is usually: I’m actually not okay.
But being “not okay” confuses us. I mean, my career/relationship/health is good. I should be fine, right?
Maybe it is true that your relationship or your career or how you spend your weekends is mostly fine. That’s great! But it’s also important to notice if, despite your life being good in many ways, there are some subtle things that still feel off.
It’s okay to be “not okay.” It doesn’t mean you’re selfish or ungrateful or that you’ll never be satisfied.
In fact, I think that the feeling of I’m not okay is actually an important part of our continued growth as adults. That feeling tells us there’s something that needs more attention or action. If we’re paying attention, we will have that I’m not okay feeling frequently — in tiny ways and huge ways — throughout our lives.
Being able to hear the subtle nudges of I’m not okay is what will help us make sure that we’re on the life path that is best for us. It’s a life-affirming feeling, even though it can also be uncomfortable.
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Today, instead of focusing on all the ways that you should be okay, could you gently ask yourself, “In what ways am I not okay?” And listen for the subtle, whisper-like answers?
I’ll be doing it, too.
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie