Blog
I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Are you?
One of my most powerful revelations of the last half-decade was that I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
Have you heard of “Highly Sensitive People” before?
I hadn’t, until just a few years ago. But, learning about the trait was extremely helpful for me. As it turns out, a large percentage of my coaching clients are HSPs. Maybe you’re an HSP, too — or know someone who is.
Today I wanted to talk about what HSPs are + how to tell if you are one.
What’s a HSP?
A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is someone who has Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS).
Put simply, Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) means that you are more sensitive to stimuli — both internal and external. It also means that you process those stimuli more deeply in your brain.
SPS was first defined as a personality trait, or a temperament, by psychologist Elaine Aron; here is a selection of published papers on the trait. About 20% of the population has SPS. It’s not a disorder — it’s simply a description of a normal temperament.
Aron summarizes the core characteristics of HSPs (or, “people with SPS”) with the acronym DOES:
D — Depth of Processing
HSPs process things more deeply than non-HSPs. Aron says that Depth of Processing is actually the underlying cause of the other characteristics of HSPs, such as being over-aroused or overstimulated more easily. Because HSPs are processing everything so deeply, they are also more sensitive to it.
However, Depth of Processing isn’t the most easily observed characteristic, since it mostly happens internally. The most easily observed characteristic is probably…
O — Over-aroused or Overstimulated more easily
HSPs can get more easily overstimulated by external stimulation — like noises, light, other people’s emotions or needs, temperature, texture, and more. They can also get more easily overwhelmed by their own internal experiences — like feelings, thoughts, or body sensations.
E — Emotional reactions tend to be stronger
This one can be tricky. Dr. Aron herself admits that she shied away from mentioning this characteristic for a long time because “she didn’t want HSPs to seem neurotic.”
But more recent research suggests that no one processes anything deeply in the brain unless an emotion is tied to that concept. Did you catch that? There is an inherent linkage between depth of processing and emotion. Feeling some level of emotions such as curiosity or fear, for example, helps us to focus.
So the fact that HSPs may feel things more deeply is probably linked to how they process concepts more deeply.
S — Subtle Stimuli
HSPs tend to be more aware of subtle stimuli. Of course, this will vary from person to person: My husband, a strong HSP, is very sensitive to even very quiet bass noises that I can barely hear (he feels them in his body). I’m not particularly sensitive to that, but I’m extremely sensitive to light. I very, very strongly prefer natural light, and hate lamps during the daytime with a passion; this sometimes drives him bananas.
But, of course, there are many sensitivities we share: we’re both very sensitive to subtle stimuli from other people — their emotions, reactions, etc. — and to our own feelings.
…
I think the “Over-aroused easily” and “Stronger emotional reactions” are often what we intuitively associate with HSPs. As a result, many of us, including HSPs themselves, may view being “highly sensitive” as something negative.
And yet, “Depth of Processing” is actually at the core of the trait. It is because HSPs are processing things so deeply that they are likely to get over-aroused or emotional. And that depth of processing can also be quite valuable: for example, Aron cites research by people who study giftedness, which suggests that most gifted people are probably also highly sensitive.
The most important thing to know is that SPS is a personality trait, or temperament, not a disorder. 20% of the human population has SPS. Research by Max Wolf, a German biologist, suggests that the trait appears in over 100 species of animals as well.
Let me say it again: being an HSP is normal.
HSPs will face some challenges that are specific to their trait, but they also have strengths that result from it. Next week, I’ll share three useful pieces of advice, if you're an HSP.
But for now, I’ll leave you with something fun: Dr. Elaine Aron, who first defined the trait, has a self-test on her website. Curious about whether you’re an HSP? You can take it here, if you like.
Let me know your results!
You’ve got this.
Katie
p.s. Wonder how I know so much about HSPs? In addition to reading The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Aron’s book, I’ve also completed her training + test for practitioners (I’m listed on her website!) I love working with HSPs in my 1:1 life coaching practice.
Did you like this essay? Sign up for my newsletter to get helpful + encouraging essays like this every Sunday morning. It’s free! :)
Why sensitivity is a strength
I want to talk about sensitivity today. You might be thinking I’d rather talk about productivity. Or success. Or how to lose weight. Or how to make everyone like you.
But let’s talk about sensitivity anyway.
When I talk about sensitivity, I literally mean a sensitivity to you inner and outer world. In the outer world, it means being more aware of other people and the world you live in. Internally, it means being able to be more finely attuned to your body sensations, thoughts, and feelings.
I’d like to make the argument that:
Our society makes it hard to be sensitive.
Cultivating your sensitivity is an extremely useful tool. Ever feel like “Yeah, my life should be pretty good, but something doesn’t feel quite right?” Sensitivity can help with that.
1. Our society makes it hard to be sensitive.
I think the pace and demands of the modern world dampen our innate sensitivity — no matter who we are. There’s no time to be sensitive! We have work to do and friends to see and kids to take care of. Then we need to do the laundry, get a workout in, take a shower, do our hair, catch up on Instagram, and watch some YouTube videos.
We consciously — or more often, unconsciously — sense that if we’re more sensitive, it might slow us down. We might have too many thoughts and feelings at work to be as productive as we want to be, for example. It would push us off track, and reduce our effectiveness!
This is not an unjustified fear. Being sensitive might, in fact, slow you down or push you off track sometimes. You might have more feelings and thoughts about your co-workers or the project you’re working on or the set-up of your cubicle than you had previously realized. And once you realize that you had these feelings or thoughts…you might begin to want to do something about them. This would slow you down even a bit more.
How annoying.
In our society, being called “sensitive” isn’t typically a compliment; it’s often the opposite. To be fair, I’m not saying that it’s not possible to be too sensitive. It is! But it’s also possible to be too hard-working or too generous, for example. Most traits have positive and negative possibilities.
But sensitivity is often ranked far below being “hard-working”, “friendly” or “smart,” in terms of ideal traits. And while being a hard-working, friendly, smart person is fantastic, I’ve also met many hard-working, friendly, smart people in my coaching practice who were still struggling. For many of them, increasing their ability to be sensitive was actually a secret sauce in our process.
So let’s talk about sensitivity.
2. Why increasing your sensitivity, no matter who you are, can be an extremely useful tool.
I often tell my coaching clients that we all need a compass and a steam engine. (Actually, I got this model from Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star, which I highly recommend).
Most of us, if we’re competent in the adult world, have well-developed steam engines. We know how to push through. We know how to get stuff done. And sometimes part of getting things done means turning down the volume on that voice inside of us that has thoughts and feelings and doubts and worries and observations.
Shhhhh….I’m on a deadline! Let’s just push through!
Shhhhh…I need to accomplish everything on my to-do list, so I can go home and do laundry and then catch a plane!
Having your own personal steam engine is obviously very useful. But it isn’t enough. You could imagine a train huffing and puffing and powering off in random or useless directions, right? Or maybe it’s going in a direction that “other people” said was meaningful or useful or best, but that direction isn’t right for this train.
I think you can see where I’m going with this.
It’s not good enough to have a strong, well-developed steam engine.
We all need compasses, too. It’s the compass that tells us the right direction to go in.
Have you ever held a real compass? I used to have one. If you held it in your hand, the arrow would wobble as it found its way to point north. If you moved your hand around or jostled it, it was even more wobbly.
Compasses are sensitive.
Real-life compasses take in relatively simple inputs and tell you relatively simple information. E.g., all they tell you is what direction is North.
But your metaphorical, internal compass? That thing has got to be complex. It’s not just taking in information about “where is north?” and then telling it to you. It’s telling you all kinds of subtle things about the people you interact with, environments you live in, feelings, thoughts, and body sensations you have, and then it’s telling you everything you need to know about your career, your relationships, how you spend your days, what you like and don’t like, what is meaningful to you, and more.
But to get that kind of information, you have to let a compass be what it is. And compasses are sensitive. Compasses speak in subtle voices, and many of us are out of practice at listening to them.
If you’ve lost connection with your compass, you may feel stuck or subtly frustrated with your life. You may feel like you aren’t quite going in the right direction, but you aren’t sure what direction you necessarily need to go in. Or maybe you have a sense of the direction, but you don’t know why you aren’t taking action.
Another sign of a weaker connection with a compass is that you may have unexplained feelings or do actions that don’t make sense to you. Why do I feel slightly anxious all the time? Why do I keep eating/going on the internet/buying things when I know it’s not good for me?
…
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, yeah, I could definitely use a stronger, more sensitive compass.
One way to start to cultivate that compass is just to notice how often you are in “steam engine mode.” How often are you huffing and puffing and pushing through? If you are in “steam engine mode” 100% of the time, can you build in some space for subtle voices to come up? Journaling can help with this. So can Doing Nothing.
Or, if you feel like your compass isn’t as strong as you’d like, but you aren’t sure how to fix it, may I suggest life coaching? I work with clients around the world via video conference, and locally in Los Angeles. Feel free to reach out.
I know you’ve got this.
Katie