On having a sparkle in your eye
“People who are over 40, who stop doing new things, tend to lose that sparkle in their eyes.”
One of my coaching mentors said this to me, several years ago. (And to be clear: I don’t think we need to be too precious about “40” — I’ve seen plenty of 30-year-olds with a dullness problem. And I’ve met plenty of 70-year-olds with serious sparkle.)
His overall argument was that when you’re young, you’re constantly forced to do new things. High school, college, and then your early twenties are a constant obstacle course of intellectual, social, physical, logistical, and emotional new things.
All of this newness can result in feelings of chaos or fear during our youth (they definitely did for me!).
But this newness also tends to lead to feelings of vibrancy or sparkle. When we do new things — when we encounter new people or new feelings or new problems — we become new.
On the flip side, one of the joys of getting older is that we know what we’re doing, most of the time. We become more skillful at work. We have committed relationships where we know what to expect. This can bring a sense of stability, calm, and power.
All good things.
And yet, if we stick too much to what we know how to do, we calcify a bit. Our lives get duller, less sparkly, or vibrant.
…
I wanted to share this with you today because frequently my clients come to me saying: My life just feels like... it’s dull. It lacks sparkle. Vibrancy.
Sparkle and vibrancy — like all problems I work on with my 1:1 coaching clients — are complex and multifaceted. But two questions I often ask are:
How often have you been a beginner lately?
How often have you done something new?
You might ask the same questions of yourself.
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As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
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