Your compass – part 1

Remember how I said I wanted to talk about your compass + your engine this month? I thought we could start with the compass — that part of you that tells you what direction to go in life (since your engine isn’t that useful, if you don’t know what direction to go.)

So here’s one reminder: 

The more you do use your compass, the easier it is to use.

Your compass — which we could also call your authentic truth, your knowing, your sense of “right”-ness — is like a muscle. The more you use it, the easier it is to use. 

Ask a professional ballerina to lift her leg above her head – and she can do it immediately, and with ease. 

Ask me to do it, and I can’t. I’ve spent almost no time building that muscle – it’s not strong enough, and the connection between me and my leg isn’t strong enough. 

The more often you get in touch with your truest desires — about anything, including what you want to eat for dinner, whether you like that water bottle, or how you actually feel about your office mate — the easier those desires will be to hear about the more complex, thorny, subtle parts of life. 

And the opposite is also true. The less you listen to your sense of truth, or authenticity, or right-ness, or whatever you want to call it — the harder it will be to hear. 

…

Part of my job as a coach is to give my clients exercises to build their own know-your-true-desires muscles. 

If you’re interested in doing a little muscle-building this month (a fascinating exercise to do especially around the holidays), here is one of the most common versions I give to my clients: 

Strengthening your ability to listen to your yeses and no’s

Typically, I will just focus on either yeses or no’s – so pick one. For whichever one you choose: 

1. Start by remembering what it is to feel a “yes” or a “no.”
   
   Think of at least one time in your past when you felt a visceral, full-body yes or no –an 8 or a 9 on a 10-point scale.
   
   Maybe it was walking into the house you eventually bought (a “yes!”), or when you dragged yourself to your job that you hated (a “no”)! Maybe it was the last time you went out with that boyfriend, when every part of you knew it was over (a “no”) — or when you realized you loved your wife (a “yes”).
   
   The point is to re-remember what that physical sensation was like, so you can recognize it for step #2.
   
   
   

2. For the next week, track your yeses or no’s. 
   
   Keep a running list, for the next 7 days, of every single yes (or no) you feel, plus some small notes about what the physical sensation in your body was like (“I felt a closing in my chest,” “my belly felt tight,” “my back felt expansive.”)
   
   Many of these will be silly, trivial yeses or no’s. You might feel a yes (or no) about what shoes you’ll wear, about bedtime with your kids, about cleaning up your office.
   
   But they are important – they are strengthening the muscle of listening, so you have it when you most need it.
   
   
   

…

I’m just going to say it again: 

Your connection with yourself — with your authentic truth, your knowing, your sense of “right”-ness — is like a muscle. The more you use it, the easier it is to use. 

Happy Know-Your-True-Desires Month, everyone ☺ 

As always, I’m rooting for you in the week ahead. You’ve got this.

Katie

p.s. Would you like to work with me 1:1? Here's what one past client said about her experience:

“I feel like I'm a lighter, happier version of myself and a better partner, friend, and coworker than I was a year ago (my boyfriend outwardly agrees to anyone I say that to).”

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