Two reminders about decision-making
Some time ago, I got an email from a recent college grad.
She was deciding between a prestigious yet challenging job in consulting (which she wasn’t that passionate about), or turning down the position to find something that would be more fulfilling + have better work-life balance.
Given my background, she wondered if I had ideas for her.
I offered her a few ideas then – and have thought about her since, as many of my 1:1 clients encounter similarly difficult decisions.
So I thought I’d share two reminders about decision-making that are relevant to her — and perhaps also to you:
No matter what decision you make, you will likely be dissatisfied.
We all want to believe that if only we can get “clear” – we’ll see that sparkly, “hell-yes” option right in front of us. But in fact, we are often choosing between two (or more) options with serious downsides.
For this recent grad: The consulting job was exhausting + not-that-fulfilling. But turning it down was a serious loss of income, prestige…and what, exactly, was she going to do instead? Would it actually be better?
This reality also applies, even if you are deciding between two choices you like - two “yeses.” I have a 1:1 client right now, who is deciding between a bunch of future career choices – many of which he quite likes! And yet, he may also be dissatisfied, once he finally choses one.
(This is counter-intuitive! We often assume that if we have two or more great choices, we should be happy either way. While that does sometimes happen, at other times, we are still dissatisfied either way, because we know we’re giving up at least one – and sometimes several — wonderful opportunities, by choosing just one.)You’re gonna have to “sift.”
The right decision may never be significantly more “right” than the others.
It may be more about “sifting” through things with similar levels of rightness… until you find the one that is just subtly, very slightly, better.
In other words: if Option A is 40% right, Option B is 40.5% right, and Option C is 41% right… man, that’s a hard decision. You’re going to have to sift very, very carefully.
I have a client who is doing this, right now, as he makes a very challenging decision about his career next steps + starting a business. (And in order to do that “sifting through” work, he’s doing a ton of this.)
…
I hope that these reminders bring you strength and encouragement. I think that sometimes we face tricky decisions and berate ourselves for our lack of clarity.
But sometimes, we assume “clarity” means one, obvious “hell yes”… that doesn’t actually exist here.
(But, of course, there are a lot of things that can help with the clarity process with imperfect choices – I’d highly recommend hiring me, if that’s a journey you’re on right now.)
And as always, I’m rooting for you — as you “sift” to find your most right decisions.
Katie
p.s. This is a nice time of year to start coaching — what a gift to yourself, to use the back-to-school energy to re-connect to yourself and your values. Learn more about working with me here.
p.p.s. And above all: maybe what’s possible for you is more than you dare to hope for.
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