Another fun coaching trick

A few weeks ago, I shared a fun coaching trick — a 2-part question that I ask clients to get to know them. 

This week, I’m sharing another — plus my own answers. 

Here’s part 1: Tell me about your closest friend. What do you adore about them? 

Here’s my answer: 

With any close friend, I adore when they are: 

  • Deep – they’re deeply present with their own experience in the world, and are “onto themselves.” They’re asking big questions about what it is to be a human in the world. 

  • Warm — they make me feel welcomed, and like they care about me

  • Funny ☺

  • Smart — their minds have a certain intellectual rigor

  • Contentious — they make me feel safe because they do what they say they’ll do, and are aware of details. 



And here’s part 2: Often, what we like most about other people are also the qualities we like most about ourselves. Is that true for you? 

Here’s my answer: 

Um, YES. 



Of course, it’s not always true that the equalities we like about our closest people are the qualities we like about ourselves. Sometimes it’s the opposite – we admire qualities that we really don’t have. 

But surprisingly often, it works. 

I love this question because: 

  • It can be a potent, sneaky way of getting to know a person. Often, we’re bad at describing ourselves, but much better at describing other people. 

  • It can also sometimes be a surprisingly potent way of getting to know ourselves! 

Try this one on yourself. Try it on your friends, or your jokey uncle, or as an ice-breaker at your next work event. Let me know what you find ☺ 

As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.

Katie





p.s. And this feels like a moment to mention: Coaching can be very helpful for skillfulness with both emotions and intuition. Here’s a link to learn more about individual coaching, if it’s of interest).


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