Is work *actually* your top priority?
Recently, one of my clients and I were dreaming about the next ten years of her life.
We were talking about all that she wants to prioritize:
More community – more friends over for dinner, more calls with loved ones, more engagement with her neighborhood
Taking fantastic care of her physical body
Regular engagement with a creative practice
More adventures with her partner
The list went (joyfully) on.
At some point, I said to her: “Hey, have you noticed that work isn’t on this list?”
(This particular client is quite successful in her career, and had, up until this point, been quite ambitious.)
She shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t think I want work to be my center of gravity, in the upcoming decade. I mean, I want to keep doing work, and I want to keep getting promoted, but I don’t want work to be my main focus, in the way it has been over the last decade.”
First of all: *hell yes* for clarity like that!
I feel a release, and also a surge of excitement, as I remember her clearness in that moment.
And second of all: despite these stated priorities, this client was not yet acting like work wasn’t her top priority.
She had reduced her working hours and stress quite a bit in our time together, but she still spent quite a lot of her time — and even more of her mental space, including when she wasn’t at work — being mentally and emotionally oriented towards her demanding career.
…
I wanted to share this story today, because I think her situation probably applies to many of us. Many of us don’t want work to be the “center of gravity” of our lives.
And yet.
And yet, we’re not acting like it.
And we’re not 100% sure how to reorient ourselves.
From my experience, I think reorientation like this is often subtle. I think change will eventually show up in actions, but often begins with thoughts.
So I wanted to share the subtle practice I offered my client, after she shared with me her desire to reorient. I hope it might be helpful to you, too:
Once a day, when you are at work, say to yourself in your mind: This is not my main priority. This is not the most important part of my life.
Once a day, when you are not at work, say to yourself in your mind: This *is* my main priority. This *is* the most important part of my life.
I recommend doing this practice for at least 1-2 weeks. It’s not something that will change on the first day.
As you do this practice, notice how to engage differently with your life and work — and notice how you feel differently.
…
And, in case it’s not 100% clear, I don’t believe that “making work not your center of gravity” means “slacking at work.”
I actually think it can be the opposite; orienting your life around relationships, family, health, community, creativity — or whatever is most meaningful to you — can create greater reserves of energy, perspective, and wisdom (all necessary for the mental sharpness that’s really the game-changer at work) — and result in higher-quality work than ever.
As always, I’m rooting for you.
Katie
p.s. If you'd like some support in cultivating your own sustainable pace (both in identifying what it is + making it a freaking reality), I can't recommend life coaching enough.
If you'd like to work with me, you can learn about my work here.
If this essay resonated with you, you'll love my newsletter. Sign up for free + get new ideas every Sunday!
