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Why I only offer long-term coaching engagements
I only offer 4- and 6-month coaching engagements, and one of the most common requests I hear from potential clients is: I’m interested in hiring you, but I’d like to do something shorter. Could we do two months? One month? Could I just pay by the session?
And my answer to that is very easy:
No.
No, I unfortunately do not offer shorter-term coaching.
Truthfully, I completely understand the desire for a shorter-term coaching engagement — eight months can seem like a lot! It can be scary to make that time and financial commitment to just one coach!
But choosing to only offer long-term coaching was a decision I made very intentionally, and with my clients’ interests at heart.
I thought that today, I could share a bit about why I made that decision.
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I’ve been coaching for over 8 years now (which is quite a long time in a young profession like coaching!), and for years I offered all kinds of flexibility in hiring me. Hire me by the session! Buy a 5-session package! A 10- or 20-session package!
But I found, time and again, that the clients who got the best results, the fastest, were the ones who made a longer-term commitment to coaching.
Did you catch that? The clients who got not only the best results, but also the fastest results, were the clients who made a longer-term commitment to coaching.
That finding was counter-intuitive to me.
I would have thought, to be honest, that it didn’t matter whether they bought a 20-session package, or ended up doing 20 sessions, on a pay-by-the-session basis. But that wasn’t the case. Not that clients who paid by the session got terrible results — they often got great ones. But the ones who made a longer commitment were much more consistently thrilled by their results, and got good results the fastest.
And as I reflected on my clients — both the ones that made longer commitments and the ones that didn’t, I came to believe this difference was due to a few things:
The clients who made longer-term commitments were more intentional about the decision to get coached. They knew they were making a larger financial and time commitment. People who carefully consider the decision to get coached are more likely to get fantastic results — because they want coaching more, and show up in a more committed way.
The clients who made longer-term commitments were willing to go deeper and get messier. The deeper + messier you are willing to go, the better your results tend to be.
On a related note, the clients who made longer-term commitments tended to be more patient. They trusted that sometimes, being coached is like growing mushrooms— sometimes you don’t see anything for a few weeks, and then all of the mushrooms pop up overnight.
On the flip side, some clients who made shorter-term commitments were more likely to be antsy — they wanted to get this “coaching thing” done, with the fewest possible number of sessions, to save money (which I totally understand! Coaching can be expensive!). But because they were antsy, we often had to spend our coaching sessions just dealing with their anxiety that they weren’t going fast enough, which took up time we could otherwise spend…coaching on their actual problems.
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At this point in my career, I think that part of my job is to not just sell what you want but to sell what I know will be most helpful.
So yes, I could offer a short-term coaching engagement. It’s possible that more people would sign up for that; I might make more money. But I don’t feel right, selling people on something that will be less helpful to them.
For me, it’s an integrity issue.
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And frankly, when people tell me they just want a 3-month coaching engagement, I smile internally to myself. I totally get why you think you want that, I think. But actually, you would be happier, in the end, if you made a longer-commitment.
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I hope this gives a glimpse behind the curtain, into why I run my business like I do. And if you’d like to experience an coaching engagement with me, you can learn more here. I’ve got two spots currently open for new clients.
As always, I’m rooting for you in the week ahead. You’ve got this.
Katie
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Big news: I've got a podcast coming!
Have you heard the big news? I’m launching a podcast in October!
It’s called Now We’re Getting Somewhere, and I’ll be talking, deeply + practically, about the topics that are closest to my heart: how to have a life that’s more meaningful, happier, less exhausting, and also, more productive and successful.
I’m so excited about the chance to talk to you more directly — while you’re taking a walk around the block, driving, or doing the dishes.
I’ve already created episodes for you on:
How to cultivate your internal compass
Healing from burnout (This became an epic two-part-er)
My intentional technology journey — and practices you can try
And! I’m currently planning a Q&A episode on dating — which is one of my favorite topics to coach on, but I haven’t written about that much in this newsletter. I’ll also be bringing a special secret guest to help me answer them.
Do you have any dating questions you’d like me to answer? You can submit them here.
And because I can’t resist, here’s the podcast art!
I can’t wait to share this project with you. Hope you’re getting as excited as I am :)
Of course, you’ve got this.
Katie
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One way that life coaching can help you
One of my core beliefs is that hiring is a coach is one of the best, most valuable, and most useful things you could spend your money on.
I mean it. If you have a home, and food, and some financial security — I think there is nothing you could spend your money on that would be better — for you, for your family, for the world — than hiring a life coach.
But I’ve realized that a lot of people — especially a lot of people who find their way to my world (typically professionals and creatives who are fairly together in their lives)… often have no idea what a life coach even does.
I think it’s time for a Public Education Campaign.
I will call it: *Life Coaching: What it is + Why It’s Awesome.*
(Imagine that text on a red silky banner, and me kicking off the campaign by cutting the banner in half with comically oversized scissors.)
As one part of this campaign, I wanted to share some specific examples of how a life coach can be helpful — taken from real stories from my clients. I hope it helps you learn more about life coaching, and I hope it inspires you, too. Look at what’s possible! If they can do it, so can you!
Today, here’s example #1:
#1. A life coach can help define the goal.
One of my clients recently came into a session feeling tired and tight in his body.
Yes, he was achieving some important financial and professional goals, but also, I always have stuff to do, he told me. It’s like I’m waiting for that place when…I won’t always feel like I have stuff to do.
I started by asking him, in detail, about what it would feel like, to not always have stuff to do. He told me about how he felt when he visited his folks – he doesn’t worry about working out, a rigid diet, or lots of plans, when he’s there. He just hangs out in his parents’ basement, watches tv, and maybe does a bit of work. I could see his whole body relax, and he looked more content.
Life feels easy when I’m there, he told me.
That was the first big realization: he hadn’t known when he walked in, what he actually wanted. He just knew what he didn’t want.
And once we knew that he wanted his life to feel easy, we were off to the races. By the end of the session, we’d discussed everything from his thoughts about work and working out — and believable, realistic thoughts he could think instead — to the hour-by-hour allocation of time in his workweek.
And he was grinning.
At the beginning of this conversation, I felt like I had to feel guilty about watching tv, he told me. Now I feel like I do plenty of work already, so I can just enjoy my life the rest of the time.
And he told me: Wow, my life is pretty sweet.
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And that’s just a single-session example of defining + achieving a goal — other goals are much broader. Just a few other recent client goals have included:
Feeling sparkly
Feeling happy
Feeling momentum
Knowing what they wanted as a next step in their career
Taking the next, challenging steps in their career
Working fewer hours without sacrificing quality at work
Not being so tired all the time
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Of course, sometimes we know the goal backwards and forwards. Even then, there can be more to know.
A different client, for example, came into our first session telling me she felt stagnant and bored. She wanted more meaning and fulfillment, she told me.
And yet, she didn’t exactly know what that meant. What do "meaning" and "fulfillment" mean, exactly?
For this particular client, it turned out that meaning and fulfillment were 80% driven by two qualities:
Meaningful connection with others
Learning
So those ended up becoming our true “goals” — and allowed us to explore things like:
How could she feel a more meaningful connection and learning at her job (that was kind of boring)?
How could she make more connections at her kickboxing class? At the drugstore?
What types of learning were interesting, even after a tiring workday or workweek? A bonsai class? Studying Korean?
How could she restructure her routines and days, so she had more *time* for meaningful connection and learning?
At the end of our coaching engagement, she told me: Wow, I feel so different than when I reached out to you. But it had also snuck up on her — this increased meaning and fulfillment.
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And, of course, that’s just one thing a coach can help with — I’ll share more in later installments of this series. I hope you enjoy this series as much as I enjoy thinking about my beloved clients.
And if you’d like to hire me — and I strongly suggest that you do; I’m an experienced, highly skilled life coach — you can learn more here.
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
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The difference between reading a tip and actually making changes (hint: getting a coach can help)
A lot of people think that they just need a good tip in order to solve their problem. Just the right piece of advice.
But here’s the thing: Advice and tips – they’re easy to find.
Google any topic.
Walk into any bookstore.
Read any self-development newsletter.
You’ll find lots of tips on any topic — including whatever is bothering you right now.
How to feel less anxious, stressed, stuck, or uninspired.
How to stop using food or the internet in a way you don’t like.
How to work fewer hours without sacrificing quality.
How to heal from burnout.
How to have a better relationship with your partner, your friends, yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with tips — they can be quite useful. (Especially this essay, of course.)
And yet.
And yet, you could probably rattle off a list of “tips” to deal with any problem you currently have.
And yet, you still have those problems, don’t you?
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But if you really want to change in a meaningful, lasting way — tips are usually not enough.
If you really want to change in a meaningful, lasting way —that’s when you need life coaching.
Every client I’ve worked with has incredibly personalized reasons why they’re in the stuck or anxious or tired or uninspired state they’re in. Working with me can help you identify those roadblocks — which are usually blind spots that you genuinely cannot see — and develop new, profoundly individualized ways of interpreting and responding to the same situations.
Then, we talk about actions. Sure, there might be a tip or two you’ve heard of before — but that’s not the real value. The real value is that you have a step-by-step, iterative, genuinely-doable process to get you from here to where you want to be.
No advice you read in a book or internet article could ever be so uniquely customized to your very particular fears, needs, strengths, and weaknesses.
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I really hope you love these essays – but coaching with me is completely different than these essays.
It’s the difference between reading about an idea…and actually making a change that is profoundly right for you.
It’s way better.
I maintain a small, high-end 1:1 life coaching practice. If you’d like to be my next client, learn more or reach out here.
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
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What’s possible with help from a life coach
Yesterday, I was talking to a client of mine.
He was telling me how great he’s feeling.
He’s super excited about the big career shift he’s about to make, but he also feels happy and focused at his current job.
Plus, he feels happy in his life as a whole. He’s started tinkering in the creative hobbies that make him fulfilled, he’s taking good care of his body, and he’s managing his energy and his time well. He’s put in effort to cultivate deeper relationships.
But just three months ago, it was a very different story.
I felt so overwhelmed, anxious, and so tired back then, he reminded me. I really didn’t think there was a way out. When we started working together, I just hoped I’d feel a tiny bit better.
Our conversation yesterday was about what thriving means to him, and what other opportunities there might be — beyond what he’s done already — to be thriving more consistently.
It would have felt *insane* to say that I wanted to be “thriving” when we started working together, he told me. I had no idea all this was possible.
And yet, here we are: thriving.
Just three months later.
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I don’t tell you this story so that you can beat yourself up. Maybe you do feel overwhelmed or tired or anxious now.
I tell you this story to say: look what is possible.
Look at what is possible when you decide that you don’t want to feel this way anymore.
Look at what is possible when you decide: maybe I don’t have to figure it all out on my own.
So many people have been stuck in their lives + their heads for so long, that they don’t think feeling different, or being different, is possible.
Sure, maybe some small tweaks. But a big, life-shifting transformation like this? That kind of thing doesn’t really happen.
I want to say, with all the love in my heart:
You’re wrong.
Transformation is possible.
Look at what is possible.
And, as someone who has been coached extensively, and coached many others — 1:1 life coaching is one of the most potent vehicles for transformation I know.
If you’d like to learn more about coaching, and potentially become one of my clients, you can apply here.
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And, as always, I’m rooting for you in the week ahead. You’ve got this.
Katie
p.s. I’m starting to have conversations now with potential clients for a September/October 2021 start. I fill spots on a first-come, first-served basis, so if you’re interested in working with me, I’d recommend applying sooner rather than later. Here’s the link to apply.
p.p.s. And above all: maybe what’s possible for you is more than you dare to hope for.
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Nervous about hiring a life coach? Here's what you can expect
First things first! I’ll have 3 spots for new 1:1 life coaching clients in June! After that, I won’t have any openings until the fall. If you’d like to be next in line, you can join my waitlist here.
I’m curious: did reading that make you feel intrigued? Like: Maybe life coaching could be really helpful.
But did it also make you feel fearful? I bet it wouldn’t actually work. Or: It’s too expensive.
Today, I wanted to share the fears I have when hiring a coach — which just so happen to be the most common fears I hear from potential clients.
I hope they’re helpful to you, too.
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Some common fears about hiring a life coach:
1. The coach will force me to do something I don’t want to do.
It’s scary to think about paying a lot of money for a coach, and then have that coach misunderstand us. Or try to force us to do something that doesn’t feel truly right for us.
I think it’s important to know: my job as a coach is to understand you as deeply as I can, and then to show you your own mind — so you can understand your reasons much more clearly, and make a decision that serves you best. We all have blind spots that are simply impossible to see on our own. And we all would benefit from being offered new ways or models for thinking about our current problems.
In other words: I don’t care what choice you make. You can leave your partner, or stay. You can leave your job, or stay. You can dye your hair blue, or leave it the same.
I just want to make sure that you know your reasons, and like your reasons.
2. I don’t have time or energy for coaching right now.
If you don’t have time or energy… you need coaching more than anyone.
Here’s why: most of us are contributing, in a significant way, to our lack of time and energy.
Of course, this isn’t to say that life circumstances don’t also contribute. Of course, they do — you’re busy! You have kids! And a big job!
But I will say it again: most of us are contributing, in a significant way, to our lack of time and energy.
I think that’s actually great news. Because if we’re contributing, then we can help ourselves get more time and energy. I help clients with this nearly every day of the week.
3. I’m worried that this coach isn’t absolutely perfect for me.
Fit absolutely matters, and it’s worth your time to research the coach you’re considering working with — do you like what she writes about in her blog or on social media? When you have a consultation together, do you resonate with what she says?
But also: your coach doesn’t have to feel like your soulmate to get you transformational results.
I don’t say that to be harsh; I say it because I have to remind myself of it, too.
Plus, you’re not going to know her as deeply, in your first interactions, as you will by the end of the coaching engagement. My affection for my coaches always grows over time.
4. It’s too expensive.
Good coaches are expensive. It’s true. I’m expensive, too.
And yet: the outcomes of coaching are, in my opinion, the most valuable outcomes that you could possibly achieve. Is there anything more valuable than feeling genuinely happier, more fulfilled, calmer, more successful in the work you want to do, and more connected to the people in your life?
And this is to say nothing of the genuine dollars-and-cents-in-the-bank-account outcomes that I frequently help clients achieve (which are often significantly in excess of coaching fees): promotions, raises, books written, fellowships earned, gigs booked.
Then there are the clients who avoid burning themselves out and then quitting their jobs to live in a van by the sea for a year. That’s significantly more expensive than my coaching fees. (Plenty of my clients choose to take time off, but it’s because they want to, not because they have to.)
My goal is always that my clients think that the money they spent on me was the best money they’ve ever spent.
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As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
p.s. one last thing: sometimes, there’s a bit of a jumping-off-the-diving-board feeling to hiring a coach. I’ve felt this every time I’ve hired a coach. And I’m a coach myself!
I think that making a big investment may always feel like jumping-off-a-diving-board to me, and that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision.
So I’ll offer one last time:
If you’re interested in working with me 1:1, you can learn more here.
I have just a few spots available in June, and several more in October — and I fill the spots on a first-come, first-served basis, starting with folks at the top of my waitlist. If you’d like to work with me this year, I’d recommend getting on the waitlist ASAP.
Here’s the link to learn more or join the waitlist.
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Are you looking to work with a certified life coach?
I’m back from maternity leave! It’s been a wonderful season of cuddles, smiles, and many, many diapers with my two new favorite people, but I’m excited to get back to coaching. I wanted to ask:
Would you like to work with me?
I have a few spots open for new individual coaching clients. I love to work with smart, thoughtful people who are willing to try something new.
Sometimes people think: My life isn’t absolutely *horrible.* Is coaching for me?
And I say: Maybe! Professional athletes know that if you want to go from good (or even “okay”) to great, you need a coach. Why not you?
It’s rare that we can work with someone who is 100% on our side, and who can give us useful feedback that is non-evaluative (I’m not your boss!), but is rather about helping us become the kinds of people that we yearn to be.
So many of us feel slightly “off,” or out of alignment with ourselves:
We feel like we’re “going through the motions” in our lives
We’re chronically a little (or a lot!) tired, stressed, anxious, or insecure
We’re out of sync with what we most value. Either we can’t say what those values are, or we know that we’re not effectively moving toward them.
If you’re feeling any of these things, coaching could be a great fit for you.
Many of us get a little set in our ways as we get older; coaching is one of those rare opportunities to reset — reset how we see ourselves, reset how we move through the world, and reset what is possible for us. I sometimes call it “moving around the furniture” inside of ourselves.
If this appeals, you can learn more about coaching (What is the process like? How long does it take? How much does it cost?) + schedule a free consultation with me, here.
And no matter what, I’m wishing you all the best.
Katie
8 Differences between life coaching and therapy (from someone who has done both)
I’m a coach, and I’m often asked: “How is coaching different from therapy?”
It’s a good question, especially because coaching is a newer profession than therapy, and less familiar to many people. In order to begin to answer it, though, I have to ask a different question:
How are you defining “therapy” and “coaching”?
There are a wide range of approaches in both therapy and coaching. An art therapist is not the same as a somatic therapist is not the same as a Jungian psychotherapist. Similarly, a writing coach is not the same as a financial coach is not the same as an Integral coach.
As a result of this, coaching and therapy can be extremely different (e.g., there might be very little overlap between a business coach and an art therapist). Or they may have many similarities. To be honest…
The modality of the practitioner likely matters more than therapist vs. coach.
I’ve been in therapy and worked with a range of coaches. The first coach I ever worked with was an Integral Coach, whose work really changed my life. Several years later, I worked with a therapist who worked across a range of methodologies. While there were some important differences — which I’ll discuss below — there were more similarities, and I had a positive experience with both.
On the other hand, I briefly worked with a business coach, and that experience was extremely different from either my Integral Coaching or therapy experiences. I’d also imagine that if you worked with a Cooking Coach, for example, it would also be quite different from therapy.
For the rest of this essay, I’ll be talking about the differences between some generalized definitions of “therapy” (more on that below) and Integral Coaching. Integral Coaching form of coaching I am most familiar with — I’m a trained Integral Coach, and I’ve worked with several Integral Coaches.
Please remember that there are as many different types of therapy and coaching as there are practitioners, so for everything I say about therapy or coaching, there will be many exceptions. It’s nearly impossible to generalize across such large fields without simplifying, and I am, of course, making this analysis based on my personal experience and conversations with others. However, I think it can be useful for some people to understand some broad differences, so I’ll share how I best understand those differences.
Here are some of the big differences between coaching and therapy that I have noticed (again, with some important caveats at the bottom of this post):
1. Therapists are uniquely qualified to help people with psychological disorders or who are healing from serious trauma.
For example, if you suffer – or think you may be suffering — from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or are healing from childhood sexual abuse, a therapist will have the best training to support you. Coaches simply aren’t trained to work with people with these types of challenges.
2. Coaches only work with people who are functioning or highly functioning in the world.
When we’re mostly “functioning” in the world, that means that we’re paying our bills, showing up to work, and mostly meeting our commitments to others. Or maybe we’re even highly functioning — other people, from the outside, might think that we’re really “together” or successful or happy.
But even if we’re functioning or highly functioning, we may still have a nagging that something isn’t right in our lives. Maybe we’re feeling stuck or lost, or maybe we keep putting off taking action toward what we want. Maybe we’re having some big feelings — like sadness or anxiety — and we’re not sure what to do with them.
Just because we’re functioning or highly functioning doesn’t mean we don’t have personal work to do. Coaches can be a great fit for people in this situation.
3. Coaches may expect more engagement from you.
Past clients have told me that they’ve been in therapy before, and felt like they showed up every session and shared about their feelings or their past. The therapist was often a compassionate listener, but the patient didn’t necessarily feel like they “changed.”
In my experience, my work with coaches has generally felt more active or potent than therapy. Part of that is because coaches expect more of you. You’ll be doing work in between sessions — which could include reading books or articles, watching videos, trying out new practices, or journaling to reflect on a key question that has come up.
When clients do work in between sessions, they have new observations about themselves, which makes future coaching sessions more productive. They also experiment with behaving differently in the world — for example, trying new actions to be more confident at work, or trying new techniques to resolve conflict better in relationships. In my experience, when you act differently and have new observations about yourself, you will change much faster than by simply talking for forty-five minutes or an hour once a week.
And, of course, some coaching clients don’t have the time or energy to do work in between sessions. That’s okay too — the coach would start by helping them make space in their lives. If they don’t have time for coaching homework, it’s probably a sign that they’re stressed, overwhelmed, or need some more free time, anyway.
4. Coaches may be more explicit about your development path
In the first few sessions of a coaching engagement, we would work together to explicitly define: (1) the skills you will develop, and (2) how the world will feel to you, as a result of our work together. We write down that development plan and check in with it throughout the coaching program.
That means that two months later, for example, we can notice which categories you’ve made progress on, and which need more attention. That document also helps us know when you’re done with coaching — when we realize that you’ve made significant progress in each of the major categories, it’s time to wrap up the coaching engagement.
5. Coaches may be more engaged with you.
Some clients have told me that their past therapists mostly listened, and preferred not to share their observations or ideas even when the patient asked their opinion. (Again, this is not true of all therapists; see below.)
While the goal of coaching is for you to develop the capacity to observe yourself and change on your own, as a coach, I am typically a bit more involved. Many of us have blind spots about ourselves that we can’t see — so as a coach, I would compassionately share with my clients what I notice about them, that they may not be able to see about themselves. Especially in the first half of the coaching engagement, I would also recommend the actions, reflections, or changes that I think might make sense for them to take next.
Of course, the goal of coaching is for the client to develop the skills to change independently of a coach. But I think that one of the great advantages of working with a coach — instead of trying to change on your own — is that the coach can notice things about you that you can’t notice about yourself. So I am actively, but compassionately, engaged in sharing that with you (and, in my experience, this is a satisfying experience for a client. I’m not harsh or unkind — typically, sharing my observations is a helpful thing for a client).
6. Coaching may be shorter than therapy.
To be clear, this is a generalization, but multiple coaching clients told me that they were in therapy for a year or more — sometimes even multiple years.
It would be very uncommon that a coaching engagement would go on for longer than a year. When this has happened, it is typically because the client has achieved their goals (see #4), but wanted to work on some new things together. The average length of my coaching engagements tends to be six months.
7. The roots of the professions are different.
Therapy’s roots are in the medical field. One of the major guiding forces of the field is and has been the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which classifies mental disorders. Typically, if therapists want to be paid through insurance companies, they must assess their patients as having one of the mental disorders listed in the DSM — even though they might not share that diagnosis with the patient. Of course, not all therapists prefer to think of their patients in terms of the “mental disorders” they have, but the roots of the field do follow this path, and this is why only therapists are qualified to support folks who struggle with mental disorders like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
Modern coaching has a number of different origins, but one major origin is sports coaches (more on sports and coaching here). As a result, there is a history of working with people who are already competent — and sometimes quite highly functioning — and helping them reach the next level. There is less of an interest, in the history of the field, in thinking about disorders, and more of an interest in just figuring out what is blocking functioning people and helping them grow.
8. Coaches often work over video conferences.
This is increasingly common for therapists as well, but therapists can often only work with people over video conference who are in the same state as them. As a coach, I can work with clients all around the world — and have! (I’ve had clients on five continents so far!)
I’ve also personally worked with several coaches of my own — coaches need their own coaches! — who lived in different states or countries than me. At first, I was a bit hesitant — can working with a coach over video conference be as effective as meeting in person? I found that I had extremely powerful experiences working with those coaches. Of course, I’d always prefer to meet in person when possible, but since they lived far away from me, I never would have been able to work with them if not over video conference.
As a coach myself, approximately half of my clients are over video conference — and I highly recommend it as an option if there’s not a coach you’d like to work with nearby.
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I hope this is a helpful comparison. I wanted to make two important caveats, however:
1. The differences between therapy and coaching depend a lot on how you define “therapy” and “coaching.”
I mentioned this above, but it’s worth repeating here: there are many, many types of therapists and coaches out there. As a result, coaching and therapy can be extremely different — there might be very little overlap between a business coach and an art therapist, for example. Or they may have many similarities.
So this comparison is really between a generalized definition of “therapy” (which is a huge field!) and Integral Coaching, because that’s the form of coaching I am most familiar with. I’m a trained Integral Coach (more on that here), and I’ve worked with several Integral Coaches.
Much more important than whether you’re working with a coach or a therapist is the fit with the practitioner themselves. Do you feel comfortable sharing intimate things? Do you feel heard? Do the ideas they share with you resonate?
2. I’m a coach.
I’ll acknowledge that I may be biased since I’m a coach myself. But, I’ve also strived to be as factual as possible. I chose to become a coach, though I considered becoming a therapist for a long time because I mostly wanted to work with functioning and highly functioning people, and because I had such powerful experiences with coaches myself.
But I still believe that therapy can be a fantastic resource. For certain types of people — such as those struggling with serious mental disorders or who need to heal from serious trauma — therapy is truly the best, and only, option. And for those who are functioning or highly functioning, it’s possible for you to see either a coach or a therapist — I have had positive experiences with both. It will simply depend on the experience you’re looking for.
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Above all, I hope that if you’re struggling, or even if you just feel like you’d like some support, you’ll seek it out. Working with professional coaches or therapists has been extremely useful to me, and I recommend it highly.
If you’re curious about working with me, here’s more about my approach, and here’s how you can schedule a short, free call to hear more about coaching, ask any questions you have, and see if it might be a good fit for you. I’d love to hear from you!
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
What elite athletes can teach us about the "value" of hiring a coach
LeBron James, one of the best basketball players in the world, spends $1.5 million each offseason on professional maintenance and development. Much of that expense is on people who help him identify weaknesses and design and implement new routines in his workouts, nutrition, hydration, physical therapy (cryotherapy, hyperbaric chambers), and more. And it’s working — he’s a 34-year-old athlete who is still at the top of his game.
Tiger Woods, one of the best golfers in the history of the sport, has changed his golf swing not once but four times. These aren’t microscopic changes that no one but the golfer can see; one golf publication compared each change to “razing Buckingham Palace and building the Kremlin in the exact same spot.” He’s done so by working with four different swing coaches.
Tom Brady, still one of the best quarterbacks in the world at 41 years old, has an extreme devotion to his “body coach” Alex Guerrero, who advises the elite athlete on workout routines, nutrition, spirituality, his mental attitude and more.
So many people I talk to feel bashful for embarrassed about admitting that they might need help. But does LeBron James feel embarrassed? No. He knows that getting help is the only way that he will stay at the top of his game. I would assume that Brady and Woods are the same.
If you aren’t an elite athlete, the type of coaching or support you need may be different. And, obviously, your budget won’t be as high as James’, Woods’, or Brady’s. But if you want to keep growing, get past roadblocks, attain mastery, and prevent burnout or breakdown, why not follow the example of people who are at the top of their game?
Why not see asking for help as a sign of strength, or vision, or ambition?
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And, of course: if you'd like some support to grow more or feel better than you do, hiring a personal coach can be a great choice. If you’re curious about working with me, here's more about my approach, or you could schedule a short, free call with me to ask any questions you have.
You’ve got this.
Katie
How to find a reputable coach
After reading some of my recent essays about coaching, you might be interested in working with a coach. Awesome!
The problem is…how exactly do you find a coach? Today I wanted to share the four ways that I’d recommend:
1. Ask around.
Coaching is far more common than it used to be, so there’s a pretty good chance that someone you know has worked with a coach before. However, people may not always mention it in everyday conversation.
Ask around! A friend may have worked with a leadership coach at her job, for example, and that leadership coach may also do personal coaching. Or maybe that leadership coach knows a good personal coach or two. I worked with a fantastic coach years ago who my brother recommended.
2. Reach out to me.
In case you hadn’t realized, I’m a leadership and personal coach! As of this writing, I’m still taking on clients. If you’re interested in working with me, please feel free to reach out.
I’m also happy to give you some recommendations for other great coaches I know. I’ve referred family, friends, and even strangers on to great coaches that I trust and respect.
3. Check out a coach training program’s coach directory.
There is enormous variation in the field of coaching. Even among ICF-certified coaches (more on what ICF certification means here), there are many different types of coaches. For that reason, I would recommend being very particular about your coach’s training.
My personal recommendation would be to look for a New Ventures West-trained coach. You can see their directory of coaches here.
I feel strongly about New Ventures West because of their whole person — or “integral” — approach, and also the rigor, depth, and care that they bring to the coaching process. I consistently find that when I meet New Ventures West-trained coaches, even people I have never met before, I am impressed by their thoughtfulness and insight.
On a personal level, working with a New Ventures West coach in my early twenties was transformative for me, and I chose to train there because I was so impressed by their approach. When friends or family ask me for coach recommendations, I generally recommend New Ventures West-trained coaches.
4. Search on the internet.
You can also find a coach with a Google search. You might find a coach’s website directly, or a directory that lists coaches.
There are also at least some coaches listed on Psychology Today (here’s my listing)and there are some dedicated coach-only websites like Noomii.com. Even Yelp has coaches!
Those can all be great resources, and I’ve certainly had many clients find me that way. However, it’s not my first recommendation because if you aren’t familiar with the field of coaching or what different types of training or certifications mean, you might not know what you’re getting. If you look for a coach in that way, I’d recommend being extra thoughtful about doing your research. I wrote a whole blog post about what to look for in a coach, which you can find here.
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
Should my life coach be ICF-certified?
I recently wrote about what to look for in a coach. But there’s one topic — your coach’s “credentials,” that’s worth talking about in more detail.
The most well-known credential in the world of coaching is ICF certification.
What is the ICF?
ICF stands for International Coach Federation, which is the professional organization for coaches.
The ICF, a non-profit, does three key things:
They accredit coach training programs. To be ICF-accredited, coach training programs have to cover certain topics, be a certain number of hours in length, include elements like mentor coaches and supervised coaching hours, and more.
They certify coaches. There are a few different routes to certification, but typically, an ICF-certified coach will have completed an ICF-accredited training program, passed a test, done a certain number of supervised coaching hours, and completed a certain number of overall coaching hours. To maintain their credentials, ICF-certified coaches have to complete continuing education hours.
They uphold professional standards and ethics for coaches. If you work with an ICF-certified coach, and you don’t believe that they have behaved ethically, you can report them to the ICF and they might lose their certification. That’s the purpose of professional organizations, across all fields. If your coach is not ICF-certified, you don’t have this option.
Are all coaches ICF-certified?
No. Coaching is actually a bit like the wild west. Anyone can call themselves a coach, without any particular training or accreditation.
However, I do not want to imply that all coaches without certification are bad coaches. Far from it! Here are a couple of reasons why a coach might not be certified:
They might not need it to do what they do.
If you’re looking for a writing coach, for example, there’s probably no need for them to be ICF-certified. You don’t necessarily need your writing coach to have gone to a particular training program or passed a test. You’re probably more interested in their experience as a writer or the amount of time they’ve spent teaching writing.
They might be early on in their coaching career.
I did some coaching before I started my coach training program — I wanted to make sure coaching was a good fit for me. Even after I completed my training program, it took a while for me to meet all of the ICF certification requirements in terms of number of coaching hours and supervised coaching hours.
They might not feel like jumping through the ICF hoops.
Getting and keeping your ICF certification requires time, energy, and money. Even some very experienced and skillful coaches may choose not to do it.
What if my coach has other certifications that are not through the ICF?
Other certifications can be great! They may show that your coach has completed additional training with experts, which will make them even more skillful in working with you.
However, it’s also possible that the certifications don’t mean much. I don’t say that to put anyone down. I just think that, as a potential client, you should know that technically, anyone can create a “training program” and issue “certifications” for people who completed it. Plus, even if the certification is from a respected organization, it could have been issued after a five-hour training program or after a five-hundred-hour training program.
It can be hard, as an outsider, to know what certifications or trainings mean. That was why the ICF was formed — to provide standards across the profession so people would have a better idea of what they were getting when they worked with a coach.
If a coach is ICF-certified, will they be a good coach for me?
I’ll be frank: an ICF certification doesn’t necessarily mean that a coach is amazing. And it certainly doesn’t mean they are the right coach for you.
It’s more like a minimum level of quality control. If you work with an ICF-certified coach, you know that they’ve been trained to some minimum standards, that they’ve been supervised while coaching others, and that they will be upholding the ethical standards of the profession.
From talking to other coaches across the profession, for example, I know that ICF-accredited coach training programs can vary widely. Some programs, for example, train coaches to focus on setting explicit goals (like writing that novel by the end of the year!) and being an accountability partner for their clients.
Other coaching programs — like New Ventures West, the one I trained with — focus more on the whole person. This approach is more about understanding the deeper factors that are causing you to feel stuck or dissatisfied and building the skills that will help you thrive.
For example, as a result of working with me, you might find the clarity, creativity, or discipline to complete your novel. But I probably won’t be checking in with you every single week to make sure you’ve written 10 pages.
The point here is that even among ICF-certified coaches, approaches can vary widely. So ICF certification will be only one of several things you’ll want to consider when picking a coach. Here are some others.
For the record, I am an ICF-certified coach. You can learn more about my approach here, or reach out if you’re interested in working together.
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
How to know if a life coach is "good”
Even if you’d like to work with a coach, it can be hard to find a good one. Fit matters — even very experienced or skillful coaches might not be right for you.
I wanted to share the five things that I look for in my own coaches, and what I advise friends and family to look for when assessing coaches themselves:
1. When you talk to them, do you feel safe and heard?
In my opinion, this is the most important quality to look for.
Almost all coaches will offer a free consultation (here’s mine). During that time, you’ll talk about what’s been going on in your life and why you’re interested in coaching. As you share about yourself, notice whether you feel listened to, safe, and comfortable. Of course, it can feel vulnerable to share personal information about why you’re seeking coaching. But does this coach seem like someone you could share sensitive personal information with?
Listen to your gut instinct or intuition. Even if your coach is experienced or skillful, something about the way they interact with you could make you feel just a tiny bit uneasy. Listen to that.
2. When you talk to them, do they say anything that resonates?
This is another important thing to look for in your initial consultation. Do the ideas they share with you resonate?
Of course, an initial consultation isn’t the same as a coaching session. The coach won’t be fully coaching you yet, but they’ll probably share information about their approach. They may also share some ideas about what you might work on together based on what you’ve told them. How do those ideas land with you?
You probably want to feel a sense of “rightness” — though you might also feel a little bit scared or a little bit excited. It can be scary to think about changing! Like #1, this is something that you’ll have to trust your instincts or intuition on.
3. Do they have appropriate credentials?
I have an entire post on credentials coming soon, but for now I’ll say two things:
Not all coaches have credentials, and not all coaches need to. For example, a cooking coach or a writing coach might not need a certification!
But, if you are looking for some kind of minimum “quality control” in a life coach or a professional/executive coach, the certification that matters is from the International Coach Federation (ICF).
I emphasize the ICF because if you poke around, you’ll find all kinds of other “certifications” out there. Certifications can be great, but as an outsider who isn’t familiar with the field, it’s hard to know much about what they mean. It can be hard for me to know what they mean — and I’m a coach! That’s because, technically, anyone can create a program and hand out certifications.
The ICF is a professional organization for coaches. They are a non-profit that accredits coach training programs, certifies coaches that have met certain standards (training, supervised coaching hours, passed tests, etc.), and maintains the ethics of the profession.
4. Does their overall approach match what you’re looking for?
It’s a good idea to be clear about what you want out of a coaching experience. Do you want to set explicit goals (like losing 10 pounds, or making $7,000 more) and have an accountability partner to check in with each week? Do you want someone to help you understand the deeper factors causing you to act the way you do, and help you develop skills to better meet those challenges?
Most coaches have information on their website about their approach — either a general “About” page, or on a blog. Here’s my “About” page, and my blog, for example. This is also a great thing to ask about in an initial consultation.
5. Do the logistics of their approach match what you’re looking for?
How much are you willing to pay? Are you looking to meet with someone in-person or over video conference? Are you willing to commit to working with a coach for a year, or do you prefer someone who doesn’t require an upfront commitment?
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You’ll be spending a lot of time with your coach, and paying them money. Most importantly, you’ll be trusting them with something very special: yourself.
It’s worth it to spend the time to find a coach that is a good fit for you. Please do trust your instincts.
And of course, if interested in working with me, you can reach out about scheduling a free consultation here.
As always, you’ve got this.
Katie