Screen-free weekends + 4 ideas for mindful tech use
Over the past several years, I’ve been working on being more intentional about technology in my personal life, and it’s been coming up with many of my 1:1 coaching clients. (Here’s why I think that is.)
I’m still not perfect, but I wanted to share a few things that have made a huge difference for me.
1. No screens after dinner.
For many years I’d cuddle up with my laptop after dinner — watching YouTube videos, or Googling how celebrities met their spouses. (Just me?)
But also: I was often tired, low-level anxious, or felt like there wasn’t enough time.
I wondered if there was a connection, so I started by making an intentional decision to read after dinner, instead of going on a screen. I love to read, but didn’t seem to read as many books as I used to.
I was shocked by how much better I felt — in the same two or three hours, it felt like so much more time, and I felt so much more rejuvenated. I ended up reading 40 books in the 12 months after I first implemented this practice. I also started getting tired and going to bed about an hour earlier — which led to me waking up earlier, without an alarm.
Most importantly: I felt so much calmer, less anxious, and like I had more time during my days. I never realized how much my screen usage was tiring me + zapping my ability to focus until I eliminated it.
2. No email on weekends.
I started implementing this about a year ago, and I adore it. Taking at least ~60 hours away from both personal and professional emails (from Friday afternoon to Monday morning) feels incredibly calming and rejuvenating.
3. I’m not a big texter or social media user.
After I had my twins about a year ago, I noticed that many new moms spend a lot of time on their phones. Lots of moms have really supportive text chains with other new moms, or consume a large amount of (encouraging! funny!) mom-related Instagram posts.
All of that can be awesome, but I found that I had a lot more energy and time… and frankly, happiness, when I minimized how much time I spent on my phone.
While I’ll sometimes check out a mom blog or Instagram feed, I try to get most of my support from catching up in person or on a phone call, and I read some books for parenting ideas.
More on my personal IG philosophy here.
4. Screen-free weekends
This is my newest intentional technology practice: staying off of screens for an entire weekend. I’ve been playing with it for the past two months and freaking love it.
I know that this practice might sound a little intense if you’ve never tried it. But also, every time I do it, I think: wow, this 2-day weekend feels like a 3-day weekend.
On screen-free weekends, the things that felt like chores (neatening up my office, batch cooking) seem to get done pretty effortlessly.
On screen-free weekends, I feel more present with my babies (who are now toddlers!) and my husband. I also feel more present with myself — more likely to just lie on my bed for twenty minutes and look out the window.
Plus, I tend to use the baby-responsibility-free time I do have to leave the house and do things in the outside world.
Though, I will also say that not every moment is full of joy and relaxation. I’ve noticed that I feel more, on screen-free weekends — I’m more likely to feel waves of boredom or anxiety or sadness. But it’s been so interesting to allow myself to ride the waves of emotions and body sensations — and to notice how they always, ultimately pass.
…
So, with all that in mind, I want to give a big caveat: I’m not a purist about any of these practices:
My husband and I watch ~90 minutes of TV each week, for example, and that usually happens after dinner. Maybe once a week, I send a few client emails at night, too.
On about 1/3 of weekends, I do check my email (especially my personal email), for one reason or another.
I definitely don’t make all weekends screen-free ones. Sometimes I just want to check out Anthropologie’s newest pant collection or watch the latest SNL videos.
Sometimes doing those tech-oriented actions serves me. And also, sometimes, it doesn’t — and I think that’s okay, too.
But I’m a big believer that sometimes acting in a way that isn’t on our own behalf is how we learn. Checking my email on the weekend, for example, is how I remember: oh yeah, I feel better when I give myself a break from this.
…
Intentional use of technology is, of course, not the only way to address many of the issues that we face in 2021 (anxiety, lack of time, not making progress on what matters most to us).
But I’ve found that they are a potent intervention for a remarkably wide spectrum of issues.
You don’t have to do what I do, of course. But would you like to be more intentional about technology?
Where might you begin?
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
Sign up for my newsletter to get helpful + encouraging essays like this every Sunday morning. It’s free!