When all you feel is *no*
If you’re chronically exhausted, anxious, or “blah”, it’s likely that you’re missing useful information about what you need, want, and value.
I often help my 1:1 coaching clients uncover these very things. (And even the very self-aware among us may not fully know our needs or priorities! All humans have blind spots.)
But a peculiar thing often happens to my clients when they start their journeys:
They start to hear “no.”
No, I don’t want to do this job.
No, I don’t want to go to that party.
No, I don’t want to make dinner tonight.
No, I don’t even want to *think* about my next career step.
In fact, for quite some time, they may only hear “no.”
These “no’s” can feel very…annoying.
These “no’s” can start to get them down.
I want to figure out what I’m supposed to do next in my career! They tell me. Instead, the only clear answer I can get is that my deepest self…doesn’t want to do anything!
I wanted to share this because I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone share this very particular observation:
When we turn up the volume to our inner selves, often, the loudest thing we hear is “no,” at first.
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone say it, so I’ll say it: This season of “no” is 100% normal.
I’ve lived my own season of “no’s.” And I’ve watched countless clients do the same. If you listen to the “no” for a while — and, importantly if you honor what they have to say — you will eventually start hearing “yes.”
“Yes” comes when your deepest self knows that it can trust you…
… To not burn yourself out.
… To not push too hard.
… To not override what you truly value for impressiveness. Or people-pleasing.
Don’t freak out if you’re in a season of “no.”
Just hold on.
Listen carefully.
Yeses are coming.
…
I wanted to share this, because I feel like I’ve been telling several of my clients recently. Perhaps it will resonate with you, too.
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
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