On "driving like a maniac" (Or: One reason why you feel burnt out)
Recently, I picked up David Anderegg’s Worried All the Time, and he said something that really stopped me in my tracks:
“If we often feel our own lives and those of our children have been given too much gas, television is the brake. Metaphorically, we don’t drive at a smooth, steady pace; we drive like maniacs, and then step on the brake when we feel out of control.
“As the felt pace of life approaches the felt pace of emergency room doctors and nurses, we would expect as a matter of necessity that addiction to something will arise. And since we can’t offer our ten-year-olds a beer, we give them something else that they can use to change their mental state immediately.”
In this quote, Anderegg is talking about television; his book was published in 2003, and that concern seems somehow quaint today. But, all the same, I really think he dropped two truth bombs about compulsive behavior, more generally:
Many of us are "driving like maniacs" in our own lives — our nervous systems are chronically stressed and overstimulated. And then we need to slam on the brakes — doing something that numbs or calms us.
The root of the problem isn’t the “brakes.” So often, we bemoan the act of “slamming on the breaks.” I need to stop checking my phone so much! I can’t stop myself when I’m with a jar of peanut butter! I can’t believe I spent three hours on YouTube!
But what I love about Anderegg’s argument is that he separates symptom from cause. Sure, none of these activities are great for you. But as the felt pace of our lives escalates, it is expected, he argues, as a “matter of necessity,” that an addiction to something will arise. We need those “breaks” to slow down our lives.
We will only stop needing our small “addictions,” or compulsive behaviors when we stop “driving like maniacs” in our lives.
Finding a more sustainable life pace is something I talk to clients about a lot, and it’s certainly not a simple, two-step, get-it-done-in-three-days process. Often, there are good reasons why we “drive like maniacs.” But for this week, I wanted to leave you with some questions to start you on the journey:
For how much of your life do you feel like you are, metaphorically, “driving like a maniac?”
What might you lose, if you slowed down your speed at least a little bit? What might you gain?
Do you even know how to find a more sustainable pace?
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As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie