Here's why some people don't take your advice

Here’s a reminder: Much of the time, other people don’t want solutions. 

Much of the time, if someone’s telling you something that’s challenging for them, they don’t want problem-solving, or suggestions for how they might fix the problem. (Even really good suggestions for how they might fix the problem!)

Much of the time, they just want emotional support.

They want to express their feelings, to feel heard. They want you to say something like, “wow, that sounds so hard.” Or: “This must be a tough time for you.”

It’s really, really tempting, when we hear that someone is struggling, to immediately want to solve the problem for them. We don’t want them to suffer! If we fix the problem, they won’t suffer!

And of course, there is a time when problem-solving makes sense and is extremely useful.

But generally, at least some — and sometimes quite extensive — emotional support needs to come first.

As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.

Katie