On confusion + not knowing what you want
Recently, several of my clients — all in very different situations — were confused.
Confused about what they want next in a job.
Confused about how to find more time, as a busy executive.
Confused about whether to continue in an unconventional relationship.
They told me the same thing: I don’t know what to do! Maybe finding an answer is impossible!
But with a bit of poking, a lot of listening, and some key coaching tools, it became clear: they did know what to do.
Of course, once they knew what they wanted... they had some other problems: fear, guilt, uncertainty.
If they know what type of job they want, will they be able to find it?
If they know what they need to cut from their schedule, will someone be mad? Or judge them?
If they continue in an unconventional relationship, will they get hurt?
These are not insignificant problems. These are clutch-your-heart problems, take-deep-breaths, make-sure-you-manage-your-anxiety problems.
But here’s what I told them: in almost every situation, it is typically better to at least know your true desires and opinions, rather than be “confused.”
Knowing your true desires doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get what you want.
And knowing your true opinion doesn’t mean that other people won’t judge you for it, or that you’ll never encounter unintended consequences.
But you’ll have to face the fear and uncertainty and potential judgement whenever you figure out what you want – so you might as well move onto that phase sooner rather than later.
…
For many of us, we feel lost in confusion, when actually, we are capable of knowing what we want and believe.
Is knowing what we want and believe the end of the road? Heck no.
But least spare yourself the suffering of “confusion.”
At least tell *yourself* the truth.
As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
Katie
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